Sacramental marriage is a gift; spouses are able to share in God’s own life as they are called to the mission of making God’s faithful love known to the world. The mission of marriage is intimately tied to the source of grace that enlivens it.
Read on to the end of this post for 10+ ideas on how to be able to receive more of God’s life in your marriage!
At the outset of Jesus’ public life and ministry, he performs his first miracle–at Mary’s request–at a wedding feast. The Church has interpreted this miracle, overflowing with abundance, as a confirmation from Jesus Christ of the goodness of marriage. In his preaching, Jesus affirms that the plan for marriage–as an indissoluble union of man and woman–was the plan of the Creator from the beginning. To the crowds questioning him on the topic of marriage and divorce, he emphasizes that what God himself has spoken is true:
Have you not read that from the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female’ and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, no human being must separate.
This clear teaching on marriage, which aligns with God’s original plan for man and woman, is in contrast to the marriage laws of Moses, which allowed for divorce because of the hardness of man’s heart. Why now, after Jesus’ coming into the world, is the hardness of man’s heart something we trust can be overcome? This is a fair question– ask any married person you know: not everything changed just because Christ entered the world–spouses are not perfect and marriages are not free from conflict and hardship. Even in healthy marriages, spouses have the ability to hurt one another and let their brokenness cause problems in the relationship.
The answer to the question of why the Church stands by the indissolubility, or permanence, of the marriage bond lies in the Cross. Christ came to redeem marriage, to restore its original dignity, and to enliven it through the gift of sacramental grace. “By coming to restore the original order of creation disturbed by sin, he himself gives the strength and grace to live marriage in the new dimension of the Reign of God. It is by following Christ, renouncing themselves, and taking up their crosses that spouses will be able to ‘receive’ the original meaning of marriage and live it with the help of Christ. The grace of Christian marriage is a fruit of Christ’s cross, the source of all Christian life.” (CCC 1646)
The bond of marriage is sealed by God himself, as the covenant between the spouses is integrated into God’s covenant with man. This participation in God’s life is what secures sacramental marriages, for “authentic married love is caught up into divine love.” (CCC 1639) God’s fidelity is what guarantees the bond created in marriage, all the way until death parts the spouses.
Christ is the source of this grace within marriage; he dwells with them, gives them the strength to follow him, helps them bear one another’s burdens, and models the supernatural, tender love which they are able to give to the other.
How can spouses live their vows more ardently, so as to participate more fully in the life God wants to share with them and make known his love more profoundly in the world?
Sacramental marriage requires a deeply personal unity between spouses.
Commit to common Scripture or other spiritual reading; create a ritual over which you can discuss where God is speaking to you in it.
Set aside 15 minutes each day for uninterrupted, screen free conversation.
Cultivate spiritual intimacy by making it a habit to pray for your spouse every day.
Take Arthur Brooks’ marriage advice: have fun together, make lots of eye contact, always be touching, and read aloud to one another.
Sacramental marriage requires fidelity.
Search the Scriptures for passages that reveal the Good News of the definitive and irrevocable love you are loved with. You can start by listening for this theme each week at Mass.
Meet your spouses’ imperfections with patience and generous help. Sacramental marriage creates a bond in which we can be guaranteed to be received with love by our spouses.
Commit to small sacrifices and acts of service without counting the cost or looking for the same to be given in return.
Read (at least twice) St. Mother Teresa’s letter to her sisters from 1993 - once for yourself and once pondering the love God has for your spouse. Not only does Jesus love you, “but even more - he longs for you… Only believe - you are precious to him.”
Sacramental marriage requires an openness to fertility.
Give thanks for the faithful love of God and consider the ways his love has been a creative force in your own life, marriage, and family.
If it’s not a regular practice, open the door to honest conversation with your spouse about fertility, contraception, Natural Family Planning, and what God desires for your marriage and family life.
Give yourselves to one another totally and freely in the marital act, renewing your vows without putting anything in the way of fertility.
Sacramental marriage is ordered not only to procreation - but also to raising future saints! Set aside time to talk with your spouse about each of your children and the ways God wants you to help them grow into the person he wants them to become.
Open your home to others in a spirit of generous hospitality. Commit to having others over for dinner at least once a month; invite over a new family in your parish, newly married couples, or your single friends. If you have kids, include them in the planning and hosting!
These lists are just a jumping off point - and, we want to hear from you! How have you been living your marriage vows and sharing in God’s faithful love more profoundly?
If you have come across this - whether newly married or married for decades, in a period of sickness or health, struggling or thriving - know that we will be praying for you, most especially that the tender, faithful love of God is made known to you in deeper ways.
The Lord, the Lord, a God gracious and merciful, slow to anger and abounding in love and fidelity.
